Actually, this post is updating my update of this post (OMG, I love meta-levels!).  I pointed out in that update some of the more inappropriate-sounding names for beer mixes, including “The Black Hoe”.  Well, I just thought it was worth noting on BMAB that someone actually ordered one at my restaurant this Tuesday.  Here’s what happened:

Guy: “What are you getting?  Oh no, I know what you’re getting [looking at friend]; I’m ordering for him.  Here’s what you’re gonna do, li’l lady*: fill the glass half full with Hoegaarden, then fill the top half with Guinness.”

I look at Dude Man.

Dude Man: “OK, sure.”

Me [still debating whether I should say anything to them about the name of this drink]: “Alright, and what can I get for you?”

Guy: “A Diet Coke.”

Me: [WTF?!  You were so excited about beer!  But good on you if you're DD.] “Sure.”

I go over to the bartender, who I had a conversation about the various beer mixes before, in which I told her about the Black Hoe.  Gittily, I tell her a guy just ordered one.  She makes it.  I take it over to Dude Man and Guy.

Me: One Diet Coke and one….half-Hoegaarden, half-Guinness.  [I start to walk away...then I gather some courage.]  So, do you know what another name for that drink is?

Guy: A Black-and-Blue?  No, that’d be Blue Moon.  No, what is it?

Me [trying to figure out the best way to not sound like a racist douche-bag]: Well I was reading about beer mixes on Wikipedia and it said the name for it was…”Black Hoe”…but I can’t imagine anyone would feel comfortable ordering that at a bar.”

Laughter ensues.

Guy: Good for you for doing beer research on Wikipedia.  So, you know, if you really want to serve it right, you’d also bring a straw with it to mix it…[realizes he has a straw in Diet Coke, takes it out, and swirls Dude Man's beverage]…like that.  And it should create a nice foamy head.  There, that way you maximize…[Guy stalls, struggling to find words]”

Me: Deliciousness?

Guy: Flavor.

Dude Man: It’s the best hoe I’ve ever had.

I laugh, but walk away thinking two things: 1) indeed, that drink was awkward to talk about; and 2) it would be a lot cooler if they called that drink the Black Gaarden.  Let’s change that, beer world.

I do wonder, though, if Guy was right that we should serve a straw with mixed beers.  I wonder so much, in fact, that I may have to do a side-by-side taste test.  I’ll keep you posted…via a post: Update of an update of an update

*Note: He may not have actually said “li’l lady”, but it felt right.