Bruce MacKenzie from The Flatlander (Davis Community Newspaper) wrote* the best piece of investment advice I’ve read.  Since I’m guessing this paper doesn’t get a lot of circulation - I can’t even find a legitimate website for this newspaper - I’m reproducing it verbatim for you here.  Good work, Bruce - fair play to ya!

A No-Fail Investment Plan

ONE YEAR AGO……

• If you had purchased $1,000 of shares in Delta Airlines one year ago, you would have $49.00 today.
• If you had purchased $1,000 of shares in AIG one year ago, you would have $33.00 today.
• If you had purchased $1,000 of shares at Lehman Brothers one year ago, you would have $0.00 today.
• But, if you had purchased $1,000 worth of beer one year ago, drank all the beer, then turned in the aluminum cans for a recycling refund, you would have received a $214.00.
• Based on the above, the best current investment plan is to drink heavily & recycle.  It is called the 401-Keg.

I love it.  And considering my investments from a year ago (Google, Ford, Goldman Sachs…ugh), I would have done better to have invested in the 401-Keg.  Also, if I were to go the can-recycle route, I’d choose Oskar Blues or 21 Amendment.  Other suggestions?

*Update: Bruce, you made me feel a fool!  Turns out Mr. MacKenzie was only taking credit for “finding” the apparently ubiquitous internet “401-Keg” joke; not being in an office job at the moment I’m a little out of loop with these things.  In other news, I have heard great things about this company called “Apple” that makes a very cool phone called the “iPhone”; I’ve also discovered that peanut butter goes surprisingly well with jelly.